I'm not used to being afraid, certainly not of people. I can talk to anyone, anytime (as you all can testify), but I guess all the scary "woman alone" stories were getting to me yesterday. I've never had as nervous and distrusting a day. It felt awful.
But then I ran into Alex and Nicole in the Chicago Amtrak station, two absurdly cute newlyweds returning from their honeymoon. Nicole showed me her ring, in between their passionate smooching and their effusive "I love you" mantras. It was rather unbelievable. Their cuteness was absurd. According to Alex, Nicole has "blessed genetics" and according to Nicole, she has a blushing problem.
I felt a lot better.
Plus, then I talked to Becca, my amazing, kick ass, outrageously cool, soul friend, who has taught young girls self-defense. I asked for some general instructions. Here's what I learned/remembered:
#1 I will listen to my gut. It is smarter than me.
#2 I will walk like a panther.
#3 I will put distance in between me and questionable people at the risk of being cold.
#4 I will not smile and convince myself everything's ok, when it is not.
#5 I will raise my voice if need be. The closer the creeper, the louder I'll be.
#6 I will make me a strong, protective shell.
Last night on the train, in my sleeping bag, I felt like I was in a giant, rocking cradle. I watched an orange moon rise, and woke up later to see it dropping behind the pine tree line. Tonight, my first night camping alone on the AT, the moon will be full. I'm taking this as a good omen; I'll have the moon's light as my nitelite tonight.
I am still in disbelief, but I am here, and now I'm off!
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Julia darling, I was wondering if at some point(s) you would like to include in your blog posts what foods/care package items you are most craving/would be most appreciated. I'm sure anything would be great, but I don't know what you already have, so if you feel like it i'd love to send you a more taylor-made package. It makes my soul happy to know that the beautiful luna llena will be watching over you this first evenign on the trail. I'm thinking of you and sending love your way.
ReplyDeleteHey Jules! It's Sharon Becca's Mom. What an exciting adventure you have ahead of you. I look forward to hearing more from you-- you're a great writer!
ReplyDeleteGive my best to the AT.
love,
Sharon
You are no effin' turtle! And, I can only laugh thinking of you walking like a panther. :)
ReplyDeleteDespite feeling like part of me went with you, I miss you madly. xoxoxoxo Wishing you all the transformation that will be.
I mailed my letter yesterday!!! go get it soon! I love you.
ReplyDeleteIts good to be cautious, be safe, and you'll have a wonderful time! I hope your first night went well!
Take Care! ~Lyds and baby
Last night I saw the full moon and thought of you in a tent somewhere under it! Hope things are going splendidly! :)
ReplyDeletesoooo proud of you!!! I love the honesty of your entries. Good luck, thinking of you all the time!!
ReplyDeletetoday i realized that i most definitely have not been checking this blog avidly enough. mom quoted your blog and i had not even read the stupedous thing! so here i am, catching up and i would like you to know that i love you very much and admire your strength and self-assurance.
ReplyDelete